Cigáni
Róm si dělá autoškolu. Projede v pořádku křižovatkou a instruktor se ho ptá "Jen tak pro zajímavost, co tam bylo za značku?"
A róm na to "Hliníková, vrátíme se ?"
Stojí francouz, čech a cigán před srázem a kdo do něj skočí a něco si budou přát tak se jim to splní.
Francouz povídá: "Chci do postele." skočí a spadne do postele.
Čech povídá: "Chci do postele se ženskou." Skočí aspadne do postele se ženskou.
Cigán povídá: "Když se to splnilo jim tak se to splní i mně." Tak se cigán rozeběhne zakopne a zakřičí: "Do prdele!" a padá ze srázu.
Malý cikán sedí pod hruškou a ukusuje chleba.
Najednou se před ním objeví utahaný dědeček.
"Dědečku vemte si kousek chleba" a podává mu skývu.
"Děkuji ti chlapečku, já nejsem obyčejný dědeček, že jsi tak hodný, splním ti jedno přání"
"Já nechci být cikán, chci být bílý jako ostatní"
"Ať se tak stane" řekl děda a vtom se cikáně proměnilo na bílé dítě. Utíká domů pochlubit se rodičům. Přiběhne na dvorek, kde táta zrovna
rozebírá kradené auto.
"Táto, podívej vidíš na mně něco ?"
"Dežo říkal jsem ti stokrát, že když mám práci, nemáš mě vyrušovat. Běž za mámou".
Příjde do kuchyně, tam ožralá máma leží na pohovce.
"Mámo podívej, vidíš na mně něco ?"
Máma se ani neotočí a říká: "Dežo říkala jsem ti, že když jsem nemocná nemáš na mně ani mluvit"
Malý cikán zajde do stodoly, sedne si a kroutí hlavou "Ještě jsem jen deset minut bílý a už mě ti skurvení cikáni serou".
Přijde cikán do krámu a ptá se: "Máte něco od Algidy?"
Prodavač na něj vytáhne revolver a povídá: "Ano, Magnum!"
V aute jedou Laco, Dezo a Jozo, kdo ridi?
Policie
Dežo dostane prácu u stavební firmy. Šéf mu poví: "Běž natříť okna!". Po pěti hodinách "těžké" práce dojde za šéfem ze slovy:
"Šéfe aj rámy?"
Kecaj spolu dvě cikánky, ta první říká: "Včera jsem byla u gynekologa a prohlížel mi poštěváka". Ta druha říká: "A kundu vidět nechtěl?" Ne na tebe se neptal.
Kopou dvě cikánky brambory a jedna vykope ohromně velký brambor a říká: "Hele, takovýho má můj Dežo."
A ta druhá na to: "Takhle velkýho nebo takhle špinavýho?
Setkají se dvě kněžky lásky z dálnice E55. Jedna nese v náručí dítě. - Kam iděš Eržika ? ptá se jí Žaneta. - Na bál. - S děckem ? - Dám ho do tomboly.
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Přejede řidič cikána. Přijedou policajti a ptají se: "Tak pane, v jaké rychlosti do vás ten cikán naběhl?"
Stojí francouz, čech a cigán před srázem a kdo do něj skočí a něco si budou přát tak se jim to splní.
Francouz povídá: "Chci do postele." skočí a spadne do postele.
Čech povídá: "Chci do postele se ženskou." Skočí aspadne do postele se ženskou.
Cigán povídá: "Když se to splnilo jim tak se to splní i mně." Tak se cigán rozeběhne zakopne a zakřičí: "Do prdele!" a padá ze srázu.
Komentáře
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med-bez-boli is ru
(Richardsog, 25. 11. 2024 22:00)